A modular cooling system will be essential to your well-being this month. You’ll need a fan hanging from a lanyard around your neck, as well as battery-powered fans that you can place about your person wherever you happen to be. If others attempt to partake in your simulated breeze, calmly explain that you are a hot spot with special cooling needs and ask them to move a few feet away so as to not interrupt the flow, thank you.

Influenced by the unique energy signature of a nearby data centre, facility renovations will be completed before they begin. To restore a linear progression of time that might be less disorienting for you and your colleagues, start unplugging things.

A major network installation brings many unexpected challenges and sows self-doubt. Be confident in your team’s expertise. If you envision a smooth execution, it will come to pass.

Bill Gates is also a Scorpio, and in the early days of Microsoft, he also personally reviewed every single line of code before it shipped. But he didn’t really have time for that, and neither do you. Recognize your micromanagement as an indulgence and take a broader view of your team’s activities so that one day you too can become wealthy beyond comprehension.

With too many devices connected to the network, you’ll need to make some hard decisions about which should be booted off. Try not to make things more complicated than they need to be and use filters to simplify the problem. For example, people in the building use devices on a variety of software platforms. The one you use, however, is objectively better, so allow any device on that platform and disconnect the rest to ensure network speeds are not impacted while you explore expanding capacity.

You share this birth sign with computing pioneer Charles Babbage, whose work offers a solution to a pressing problem of your own: how to install working computers in a lair concealed within a live volcano. The heat is too much for conventional silicon, but a mechanical computer iterating on Babbage’s original Analytical Engine design might do the trick. If you don’t have enough lying around, you’ll need to put in an order for 100 tons of steel, give or take.

Trust your gut when choosing a new security package. There are some voices of dissent, but you have the support of the elders in this matter and the wisdom of your decision will reveal itself in time.

Eliminate negatives from your life this month and focus on what brings you joy: disable reminders for meetings of dubious value and enable reminders to go outside a few times a day and listen to birdsong, nature’s alert sound that draws your attention to the present moment. Like the hum of a server, the chirps can be persistent, even insistent, but somehow never grating.

It will be a good time to take calculated risks. Modems capable of transferring data at theoretical “7G” speeds might seem foolish to some in the industry, but you know the only thing better than being prepared for the future is to be several steps ahead of it, so you can grab a nap while you wait for it to catch up with you at so-called “state of the art” 5G speeds.

You’ll create a new, charmingly literal form of cloud storage that encodes information in water vapour. Your pilot extracts a cost, however. As you explore just how much information you can save in an actual cloud, the sky above the town darkens and crouches over the office. It never rains – a design flaw that you engineered against, of course – but your colleagues and their plants both wilt in the permanent shadow of your invention. Be assured that you’ll solve the problem and the sun will shine once again

A sentient virus will take over the system and turn all processing power to the only task that satisfies it: the calculation of prime numbers. The work will overheat the system almost immediately and threaten a literal meltdown. Thankfully, your new cybersecurity package is equal to the task and everything’s back to normal before lunch.

Stone tablets will be dug out of the desert, whose inscriptions will tell the tale of someone’s ancient blunder. We’ve come a long way: the 1s and 0s in which you make your living are fleeting and impermanent, a fact that is both the bane of your 9-to-5 and the reason your own mistakes will be forgotten, probably, unlike that other guy whose reputation is being sullied three millennia after his death.



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